'Serotonin', 48x60, Acrylic on cigarette foil on board, 2019. Sold Growing up in the 80's and 90's meant that (for those in the know) we were exposed to a myriad of transformations, new technologies, cultures and shifts in art, music styles, fashion and lifestyles. It was a time when (in accordance with mental health institutions and schools of psychology) 'being positive', 'awakening the giant within' and the 'laws of attraction' were being promoted and heralded as the way to be and think. Think positive! The invention of the Atari, Commodore 64, the Apple Macintosh, Windows 95 (PC computers), CD, VCD and DVD players - meant that consumer mindsets and habits had to change. I, for one, was on board with this. It was new, fun, interactive. But I was (and probably still am, in most circumstances) an introvert (with the learned exception of when I'm performing music, writing or engaged in sports). This meant that I would be okay sitting down by myself for long periods of time either tinkering with these new fangled contraptions, or just listening to music or playing board games with one or two close friends. This meant reading books, comics, encyclopaedias, drawing or working at house chores alone. Learning new things alone, was a norm. When you grow up like this, you find fascination, curiosity and interest in the most simplest of things : A piece of rock sheared off a mountain or hill. In the contours and designs of a specific leaf, or the forms of moss and lichen. The textures of paint on asphalt roads, or in the cracking and peeling of paint from weathered walls - All serve to inform the inner tapestry and visual language of an introvert. In other words, and introvert is somebody who is comfortable attending to his/her inner worlds. Yes, there exists a world inside us. One that begs to be questions, prodded, understood, made sense of, ruminated upon, tested in the external 'real world' its validity, theory or otherwise. A way of being that extroverts usually regard as being 'moody' or 'socially awkward'. Extroverts don't take into account these inner worlds as severely or instinctively as introverts do. For most introverts, they do not have a choice. It's not something you can turn off, or on, like a light switch or an oven. In short, extroverts do not recharge or rejuvenate in the face of solitariness. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. While some encounter discomfort, struggle and chaos being alone - I find calmness, peace, serenity and comfort. Just mediating and navigating my inner world brings about order and organization that's needed in times of chaos and turmoil. I think it's one of the main reasons why I choose to be alone on most days, over the need to be surrounded by other people. One cannot escape being with oneself, forever. There will be a time when all we have, are ourselves to contend with. The question is : Do you look after yourself like you would someone you love and cherish? Or do you criticise, blame, judge, reduce your inner self to shreds? And if so, why? 'Entropy', 48x48, Oil on aluminium, 2023, Sold Coming to terms with one's mortality, limitations, biases, needs and shortcomings, is an intrinsic problem and conquest. I applaud those that get down to do the dirty work. For one can only run and hide for so long. Everything that we experience in life is recorded somehow on a cellular level. It's what we make of it all; that matters. It's about perception and understanding concepts and patterns. First you acknowledge it. Then you accept it. And then you let it go.
And there's a lot of work to be done in the world with regards to this. Extroverts tend to like group settings or experiences that involve lots of people. It lifts them up. Generally labelled as brash, loud and gregarious. In certain aspects I carry the extrovert characteristic : In sports or when performing music or in writing. However, I believe that in order to be confident, we must master a skill. Without mastery of an art form, there's no point in braggadocio. The analytical, organisational and critical part of me is loud and clear on this one. I'm superseded by a voice that tells me to 'think before I speak' or 'learn and master what is important to you'. It's valid. The world loves extroverts. This is evident in our social media feeds, in the financial world, in business, entrepreneurship and in the art world (to a certain extent). However, for all the numerous and overly publicised extrovert behaviour, there exists a considerable - if not equal amount of introverts. Those who quietly toil away, chisel at, who contemplate, reflect, think, write about and ponder silently - their existences, choices and words. It was introverted bankers and financiers who pointed out fallacies and shortcomings, way before a stock market or housing bubbles crashed. It is those who have loud inner voices and consciences, that see things that others don't. Sometimes we all move too fast, don't we?
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